Kelly Bensimon fixes her ugly breast implants

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Kelly Bensimon of the Real Housewives of New York City showed off some pretty strange looking breast implants last year (her implants seemed stiff and too far apart – some observers said they looked like they were fighting each other). Last year, it was announced that she’d be appearing in the December 2009 issue of Playboy, which didn’t happen. Now, it appears that Kelly is scheduled for the March 2010 issue and when these recent photos of her appeared it was obvious why her appearance was pushed back. She’d had new implants put in. Her new implants look softer and are closer together, but her body still looks trannyish.

Kelly Bensimon

Kelly Bensimon

Popularity: 40% [?]


Playboy Model Bolt Ons

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Playboy Model Doris Mar

Playboy Model Doris Mar

Doris Mar was the unlucky beneficiary of some very large implants. She has tiny proportions and should have gotten smaller accessories. But alas, the gigantic breasts did garner her a Playboy cover (artfully airbrushed, of course).

Doris Mar on the cover of Playboy

Doris Mar on the cover of Playboy

Popularity: 73% [?]


The Worst Socialite Boob Job

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Amy Lumet is the clear winner in the ‘Worst Socialite Boob Job’ category. (Her dad is famous director Sidney Lumet and her grandmother is legendary singer Lena Horne.)

My verdict? Her implants are too large for her frame and too high up on her ribcage. She likely went to a doctor who gave her the huge breast implants she wanted instead of a smaller, more suitable set.

Amy Lumet and her giant almost square breasts

Amy Lumet and her giant almost square breasts

When Daddy's money buys square cornered cleavage

When Daddy's money buys square cornered cleavage

Popularity: 70% [?]


Tiger Woods’ other mistress Holly Sampson

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Another of Tiger Woods’ mistresses has been revealed and like Rachel Uchitel, she likes plastic surgery. Meet adult star Holly Sampson, who has fake boobs (not bad) and rhinoplasty. She’s quite cute in her before photo, not sure why she opted for the alterations.


Tiger Woods' mistress Holly Sampson

Tiger Woods' mistress Holly Sampson


Popularity: 67% [?]


Honestly, does she think these bolted on fruits pass as real?

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Honestly, does she think these bolted on fruits pass as real? Nicole Kidman was out and about earlier this week showing off a much larger set of breasts. I don’t think a woman as vain as Nicole is breastfeeding so that excuse is out.

These new larger implants of hers don’t look real. Their profile is too high. If she was going to show them off, she should have waited until they dropped and that takes a few months.

Nicole Kidman's New Implants

Nicole Kidman's New Implants

Nicole Kidman's New Implants

Nicole Kidman's New Implants

Popularity: 42% [?]


Orit Fux’s before photo

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As you may remember, Orit Fux is Israel’s Pamela Anderson. She’s got hugely inflated lips coupled with amazingly large implants. Now, her before photo has been discovered thanks to a wonderful reader. Ta da!

Orit Fux Before And After

Orit Fux Before And After

Popularity: 47% [?]


Holly Madison is busting out

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I’m not sure what is going on here with Holly Madison
. Ever since she’s moved to Las Vegas, she’s looked wild eyed at times and the photos below are a good example.

Holly, you lived with and dated a millionaire for eight years, so we know you have other dresses you could have worn. Boobs falling out of your clothes are not apart of the 80s look. Breast implants look weird when you try to stuff them into things.

She's lucky to escape nipslip.

She's lucky to escape nipslip.

Weee, almost out!

Weee, almost out!

Holly Madison's right breast attempts to escape.

Holly Madison's right breast attempts to escape.

Popularity: 42% [?]


Amy Winehouse shows off her implants

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Amy Winehouse
, after wrecking her body with drugs, alcohol, and poor nutrition, added a set of breast implants to her super skinny, almost skeletal frame about a year ago. Yesterday, while looking a bit out of it, she chose a frock which did a poor job of containing them and seemed unaware that her breasts had been unleashed.

Amy’s a small girl, she should have gotten implants under the muscle, these don’t look real when outside of clothing. Poor thing.

Amy Winehouse models her breast implants

Amy Winehouse models her breast implants

Her implants are perfect round circles.

Her implants are perfect round circles.

Before and After

Before and After

Popularity: 63% [?]


Jocelyn Wildenstein checks in

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Jocelyn Wildenstein is a big favorite on this site. Since we first mentioned her in 2003, she has had even more plastic surgery. Last week, she was flaunting her hard breast implants. They don’t look remotely real, but as long as she gets attention, its all good, right?

Jocelyn Wildenstein

Jocelyn Wildenstein

Jocelyn Wildenstein

Jocelyn Wildenstein

Jocelyn Wildenstein

Jocelyn Wildenstein

Popularity: 48% [?]


Kelly Bensimon and her weird breast implants scheduled for Playboy

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In the wackiest entertainment news this week, Real Housewives of New York star Kelly Bensimon announced that she was going to be in December Playboy. Kelly is known for her wonky breast implants which seem to have a mind of their own as seen below.

I am Kelly Bensimon and I am so awesome

I am Kelly Bensimon and I am so awesome

This is what Kelly will be showing off in Playboy.

I'm at Sandals because I can't afford St Barts anymore

I'm at Sandals because I can't afford St Barts anymore

The reaction online has not been kind to say the least.

I don’t know what’s going on between the two pieces of her bikini, but it ain’t right. And I fear it is going to give me the bad dreams.

Meh face? Check.
Awful plastic tits? Check.
Thick waist? Check.
“Hips” same width as waist? Check.

I’m missing why this is such a travesty: this is what Playboy’s been crapping out since the ’90s. The only difference is that this one is lumpier than most of the others pre-Photoshop.

She has the torso of an grizzled old truck driver.

Ok I’m not a man, but are there guys out there who honestly want to see this messed-up body? The world must have spun off its axis if this shit is for real.

That is a man-abdomen if I’ve ever seen one. The muscular thick around the middle is about as unattractive as the fat thick around the middle.

No wonder Playboy is circling the drain.

Popularity: 61% [?]


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